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hmmm.... written @ 8:42 a.m. on November 24, 2003 I am at work. Taking a little break. These journals seem like my only communication to a world I no longer know. It's not like I chose it to be this way, and it isn't like I like to be lonely. But the calls never come, and the opportunity does not arrise. 'Tis the life I lead, and the path that fate has lead me down. Kaity, you need to come over sometime this weekend so we can go look at Bridesmaid dresses. I need some help with some stuff anyway, and you are good at that.
Scott is my blessing. He makes it worth it to get up in the morning. I find it exciting that I grow more and more in love with him everyday. With all of the things that have happened to me in the last year, and all that we have been through together... and all of the mistakes that I have made. I am blessed to have come out of it with him still by my side, encouraging me and loving me. Love is not about kissing and sex. Love is not about interests and time. Love is about a relationship of wits, of dreams, of sharing, of cooperation, and of mutual respect. Love is a sense of humor, and a grasp of reality. Love is selfless, yet selfish at the same time.
Thanksgiving is coming. Scott and I are going to have dinner at my parents, at Scott's brother's, and at his cousins. It'll be a busy day.
I am finding more and more that life is not what anyone promises it will be. Most of out misfortune, and demise lies upon our own shoulders. The responsibility of our happiness, or fufillment depends upon our own motivation and capability.
"As fire lights the wood it consumes, so the soul illuminates the body with consciousness."
- Srimad Bhagavatam
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