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Romance??? written @ 1:18 a.m. on August 30, 2003 Today was another boring, hopeless, and meaningless day in the life of Laura. Woke up to Neona calling me. Neona comes over. I have to put her eyebrow ring back in for her. Poor kid. Came out while she was sleeping. I bet she was having a pretty raunchy dream. Scott fixed my car... *everybody cheers* So now it's driving okay. Hung out with Brent and Kaity. Then we caught up with Nona. Drove around with my puppy. I feel like I'm missing something. Sex doesn't even have the same appeal to me that it used to. My life is kinda boring. I'm not really waiting around for Mr. Right anymore... It's not like I'm even looking. I used to think I'd settle for Mr. Kinda-Okay... I'm not even sure of that anymore. Nobody sees me for who I am. Why would Mr. Right be any different??? I'm waiting for the day when a guy can hold me in his arms, kiss me, and tell me that he accepts me for who I am... and nothing else. To do that though, they have to know you, and you have to let them know you. This is my hard part. I have a hard time trusting anything with a penis after Ross. Hell... even Scott. He is so sweet sometimes, and others I just feel like the dirty little teenage slut that he brags about at work. So. I'm a hot piece of ass. We've established this. I know how to give one hell of a blow job, and I'm not afraid to swallow. What else is there to them? Will a guy ever be interested in ME? Why would they be? Well... I have a personality. But do they know this??? I feel like such a hard ass... like, "I'm never going to fall in love again." and, "I don't believe in romance." Maybe I do. Maybe I just hide it. Maybe I m waiting for Mr. I'll-stick-around-and-not-take-advantage-of-you-and-love-you-and-not-be-a-dickhead.... to find my romantic side again. I thought it was dead. I need to be shown again, I guess. I hate my romantic side though. When awakened, it needs much attention. Who knows. Life goes on... Day to day. Each day is the same. Maybe I'll paint my dream man. Knowing me, I'll probably already know him. Maybe I need to move.
"As fire lights the wood it consumes, so the soul illuminates the body with consciousness."
- Srimad Bhagavatam
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